he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
