I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
