I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
