No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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