So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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