i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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