Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
