Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
