oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
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