in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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