He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
