I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
