is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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