she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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