I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize