sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
