some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
