Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
