It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
