I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
