Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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