he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
