I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
