i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
In other news, I just burned my penis
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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