My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
