i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
