So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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