I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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