my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We are all done wearing pants today
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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