it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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