At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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