Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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