The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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