I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
