I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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