I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
