is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
this will be a night to untag.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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