what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
