I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
