I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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