I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
