I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize