North Korea, Best Korea!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
