it was like his penis was on wheels.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
