I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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