I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
