p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
