new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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