Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
