You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
