Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
