it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
