just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
