Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
