If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
