Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
