I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize