whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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