I wannas sexs uuuuu
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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