I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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