Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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