she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize